Once again I must apologize for being out of touch for so long. It’s Hanukkah you see and I’m all about the Jewish holidays. I think a lot of Jews are too quick to dismiss Hanukkah as a minor holiday. It's really not. Yes, the events celebrated are post biblical, but so what? One of the things I love about Judaism is that it’s a continually evolving religion.
Anyway our house is decorated with Happy Hanukkah banners, Stars of David, candle menorahs as well as electric ones, strategically placed dreidel-holding stuffed animals and so on. I’ve made latkes every night this week and more than my fair share of blintzes, ruggelah, Hanukkah cookies and so on (the jelly doughnuts I bought…I’m only willing to take the Yiddish Martha Stewart routine so far). We’ve had family and friends over every night this week (both Jewish and non-Jewish alike) to help us celebrate the holiday. See this is why I don’t celebrate Kwanza; I already have my hands full with another multi-day celebration. Of course I could do a little something for Kwanza without going all out but that would require moderation and moderation is a concept that I’ve never been able to fully grasp. If I really want something (like say...a writing career) I dedicate myself to the quest of obtaining it and don’t stop until I succeed. If I kind of want something, like say…a clean house, I’ll occasionally toy with the idea of picking up a broom but I’ll rarely be motivated enough to actually do it.
But, as you probably surmised, celebrating Hanukkah is on my “really-want-to” list. I want to provide my son with holiday memories that will last a lifetime. I also want to give something special to those who come into my home to celebrate with us (and I’m not just talking about the gift I hand them). If our guests are Jewish I want them to feel a sense of community and if they have been dismissing Hanukkah as some kind of wannabe Christmas I want to show them what it can really be: a time of joy and laughter, an opportunity to bring both spiritual and physical light to the darkest days of winter. If they’re non-Jewish I want to give them a glimpse of my culture and traditions and I hope that I am able to give them a little of the warmth that I get when I see one of their beautiful Christmas trees or hear a particularly lovely carol.
It’s the least I can do for the people who brought about the invention of the eggnog latte.
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Peas In A Pod
This holiday season I’ve been struck by new a realization that I should have been struck by a long time ago.
It was the weekend after thanksgiving and I was at Starbucks with my six-year-old son. I was reading aloud to him from Hoot, Carl Hiaasen’s young adult novel. My son and I are both big Carl Hiaasen fans. I read until we were both done with our frappucinos (my son drinks the crème frappuccinos which don’t have coffee in them) and then suggested that we check out the holiday decorations at the neighboring mall. Of course I knew it was one of the busiest shopping weekends of the year but I like those kinds of crowds. No, I don’t want to see people punching each other out over discounted laptops but I do like to see people rushing from shop to shop happily condemning themselves to a lifetime of debt. And I love to see all the new and unique ways retailers have managed to capitalize on the Christmas holiday. I might be somewhat put off by the commercialization of Christmas if I was a religious Christian but since I’m not a Christian the whole thing just feels like a celebration of shopping and I love shopping!
I wasn’t sure what my son would think of the hustle and bustle but I figured we could always leave.
Well as it turns out he loved the craziness of it all as much as I did; so much so that we decided to assume the roles of holiday decoration judges. We got ourselves a couple of pencils and small notepads, drove to several of the biggest shopping centers in the Bay Area and rated their attempts at decorating on a scale of 1 to 10.
My son’s school talent show was a little over a week later. When it was his turn to perform he climbed onto the auditorium’s stage, grabbed the microphone and belted out Eye Of The Tiger, complete with break-dancing moves that he had choreographed himself. He didn’t experience the slightest bit of trepidation. In fact when the song was over my son was so reluctant to step out of the spotlight that the event’s MC had to literally pry the mic out of his hands.
And that’s when it hit me: my son is just like me…but more so. I was a sensitive kid but my child’s sensitivity makes me look callous. My intense love of performing has always outweighed my stage fright. My son doesn’t know the meaning of the term stage fright. I like to go to Starbucks several times a week. If my son had his way I’d take him there several times a day. We both love books, learning, traveling and metropolitan cities.
Of course when two people are too much alike they are destine to drive each other crazy and God knows my son and I manage to push each other to the brink of insanity on a somewhat regular basis but we also understand each other (usually). The other day when I asked if he wanted me to take him to the park he shook his head dismissively. “Let’s do something more your style," he suggested.
“Such as?” I asked.
“Well…we could go to Starbucks and then go walking around San Francisco or maybe we could go to Monterey, maybe we could even visit a Borders or something! You know, the kind of stuff we like to do.
Are we a good match or what?
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
It was the weekend after thanksgiving and I was at Starbucks with my six-year-old son. I was reading aloud to him from Hoot, Carl Hiaasen’s young adult novel. My son and I are both big Carl Hiaasen fans. I read until we were both done with our frappucinos (my son drinks the crème frappuccinos which don’t have coffee in them) and then suggested that we check out the holiday decorations at the neighboring mall. Of course I knew it was one of the busiest shopping weekends of the year but I like those kinds of crowds. No, I don’t want to see people punching each other out over discounted laptops but I do like to see people rushing from shop to shop happily condemning themselves to a lifetime of debt. And I love to see all the new and unique ways retailers have managed to capitalize on the Christmas holiday. I might be somewhat put off by the commercialization of Christmas if I was a religious Christian but since I’m not a Christian the whole thing just feels like a celebration of shopping and I love shopping!
I wasn’t sure what my son would think of the hustle and bustle but I figured we could always leave.
Well as it turns out he loved the craziness of it all as much as I did; so much so that we decided to assume the roles of holiday decoration judges. We got ourselves a couple of pencils and small notepads, drove to several of the biggest shopping centers in the Bay Area and rated their attempts at decorating on a scale of 1 to 10.
My son’s school talent show was a little over a week later. When it was his turn to perform he climbed onto the auditorium’s stage, grabbed the microphone and belted out Eye Of The Tiger, complete with break-dancing moves that he had choreographed himself. He didn’t experience the slightest bit of trepidation. In fact when the song was over my son was so reluctant to step out of the spotlight that the event’s MC had to literally pry the mic out of his hands.
And that’s when it hit me: my son is just like me…but more so. I was a sensitive kid but my child’s sensitivity makes me look callous. My intense love of performing has always outweighed my stage fright. My son doesn’t know the meaning of the term stage fright. I like to go to Starbucks several times a week. If my son had his way I’d take him there several times a day. We both love books, learning, traveling and metropolitan cities.
Of course when two people are too much alike they are destine to drive each other crazy and God knows my son and I manage to push each other to the brink of insanity on a somewhat regular basis but we also understand each other (usually). The other day when I asked if he wanted me to take him to the park he shook his head dismissively. “Let’s do something more your style," he suggested.
“Such as?” I asked.
“Well…we could go to Starbucks and then go walking around San Francisco or maybe we could go to Monterey, maybe we could even visit a Borders or something! You know, the kind of stuff we like to do.
Are we a good match or what?
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
Friday, December 16, 2005
What To Expect When Your Parenting: The Unexpected
Sorry I haven't blogged for a while; I’ve had a few parenting hurdles to jump over this week. Actually that’s not an accurate metaphor. Parenting my son is nothing like jumping over hurdles. It’s more like climbing Mt. Everest.
Yes, that’s a better analogy. Imagine being at the base of some huge mountain that looks to be insurmountable. As you climb it minutes turn into hours and day turns into night. You're exhausted and your limbs feel like they’re about to fall off. Finally you find a good place to rest. You get your bearings and look down. You’ve come a long way and you can’t help but feel a little proud of yourself. Then you look out and immediately the little bit of air remaining in your lungs leaves you in the form of a gasp because what is before you is the most incredible view in the world. Van Gogh, Chagall, Renoir; none of those hacks ever created anything that compares to the spectacular beauty in front of you and you know right then and there that all the effort it took to get to that place was more than justified. And then you look up and you say to yourself:
Oh shit!
Yes, that’s right, your climb has just begun.
Of course when I was pregnant I was only prepared to hike up a big hill. It wasn’t just that I was naïve about motherhood (although it truly is impossible to understand the joys and challenges of parenting before you actually go through it) it’s that I didn’t anticipate having a child who would qualify as being “twice exceptional.”
Twice exceptional is a very PC term for children who are gifted with learning disabilities. What learning disability does he have you ask? Well it depends on who you talk to. According to the British definition of dyslexia (which is different from the Netherlands’ definition which is different from California’s definition which is different from New York’s definition) dyslexia is a neurological condition that not only makes reading and writing challenging but also results in certain behavioral traits and affects an individual’s fine and gross motor abilities. I’m not a psychiatrist and I’m certainly not a neurologist so far be it for me to say if the Brits got this one right but I will say that 90% of the specific characteristics that they say are common in dyslexic kids fit my son to a T. One “expert” who tested my son basically agreed that he had a spatial visual problem. She also pointed out that he had a hard time working both sides of his body at the same time during certain activities. For instance it is very difficult for my son to tear a piece of paper. Tearing involves pulling the paper back with one hand and forward with another. My son can pull forward with both hands at once and backward with both hands but pulling back and forward simultaneously? That’s a huge (and often tantrum provoking) challenge.
And when it comes to personal space…well let’s just say that he seems to need about as much as a Tokyo subway rider. He is always invading people’s space which is uncomfortable for most individuals (particularly kids). But it’s really bad when he’s upset with the kids. The only time my son will physically hit someone is when he’s trying to defend himself but when a child gets in another child’s face and angrily confronts him it’s perceived as threatening by both kids and teachers alike. Of course all kids yell at each other once in a while but because of my son’s…I think I’ll go with “quirks”…his arguments usually get him into more than his share of trouble and they alienate him from his peers.
But his mind…God I just love the way this child thinks. It’s like he thinks in pictures. After one mildly traumatic play date with a boy named Jason who was in a particularly foul temper my son said to me, “Jason has a lot of aggression and he throws it at his friends. That used to be scary because his aggression was as hard and strong as the ground but now…now it’s like a steel blade.”
This from a six year old!
Or on a lighter note there’s his imaginary friend; a lemur named Jelly. “She’s really crazy mom,” he said when describing her to me. “That’s why I call her Jelly.”
I thought about that for a second. “I don’t think I see the connection between her name and her insanity.”
“Well think of Jelly’s consistency,” he said. “It’s unstable.”
And yet writing a sentence is painfully difficult for him. Furthermore he doesn’t fit in at school and he is always a problem for his teachers. While he is making academic progress due to his work at home I have yet to find a classroom that can handle him. I don’t want to hold him back because he really is too bright for that. Right now I have him in a program where he only goes to class a few times a week and homeschools the rest of the time. I could homeschool him fulltime but I firmly believe that he needs to learn how to socialize with his peers. After all, a high IQ does not necessarily equate to success in life. More often than not the key to success is a person’s ability to deal with other people and when I say other people I’m not just talking about an individual’s mother.
Of course lots of folks have advice. I’ve been given the name of a school that would be perfect for him (unfortunately it’s in Denver, Colorado) I’ve been given the name of a woman who specializes in working with kids like mine (unfortunately she’s in Los Angeles) and I’ve been given a name of an educational facility that might really be able to help him (unfortunately it has a tuition of $23,000 a year…so much for groceries).
Part of me knows that I will find a way to make it all work. I’ve purchased my tickets to LA and will spend a big chunk of change talking to this highly recommended specialist. I will continue to brainstorm with his teachers and research schools that might be better for him.
Most importantly I will continue to love him. That’s the easy part because when I’m not busy mountain climbing I’m standing still and looking at what it is that’s before me.
And what’s before me is the most beautiful and amazing little boy I have ever had the privilege of knowing.
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
Yes, that’s a better analogy. Imagine being at the base of some huge mountain that looks to be insurmountable. As you climb it minutes turn into hours and day turns into night. You're exhausted and your limbs feel like they’re about to fall off. Finally you find a good place to rest. You get your bearings and look down. You’ve come a long way and you can’t help but feel a little proud of yourself. Then you look out and immediately the little bit of air remaining in your lungs leaves you in the form of a gasp because what is before you is the most incredible view in the world. Van Gogh, Chagall, Renoir; none of those hacks ever created anything that compares to the spectacular beauty in front of you and you know right then and there that all the effort it took to get to that place was more than justified. And then you look up and you say to yourself:
Oh shit!
Yes, that’s right, your climb has just begun.
Of course when I was pregnant I was only prepared to hike up a big hill. It wasn’t just that I was naïve about motherhood (although it truly is impossible to understand the joys and challenges of parenting before you actually go through it) it’s that I didn’t anticipate having a child who would qualify as being “twice exceptional.”
Twice exceptional is a very PC term for children who are gifted with learning disabilities. What learning disability does he have you ask? Well it depends on who you talk to. According to the British definition of dyslexia (which is different from the Netherlands’ definition which is different from California’s definition which is different from New York’s definition) dyslexia is a neurological condition that not only makes reading and writing challenging but also results in certain behavioral traits and affects an individual’s fine and gross motor abilities. I’m not a psychiatrist and I’m certainly not a neurologist so far be it for me to say if the Brits got this one right but I will say that 90% of the specific characteristics that they say are common in dyslexic kids fit my son to a T. One “expert” who tested my son basically agreed that he had a spatial visual problem. She also pointed out that he had a hard time working both sides of his body at the same time during certain activities. For instance it is very difficult for my son to tear a piece of paper. Tearing involves pulling the paper back with one hand and forward with another. My son can pull forward with both hands at once and backward with both hands but pulling back and forward simultaneously? That’s a huge (and often tantrum provoking) challenge.
And when it comes to personal space…well let’s just say that he seems to need about as much as a Tokyo subway rider. He is always invading people’s space which is uncomfortable for most individuals (particularly kids). But it’s really bad when he’s upset with the kids. The only time my son will physically hit someone is when he’s trying to defend himself but when a child gets in another child’s face and angrily confronts him it’s perceived as threatening by both kids and teachers alike. Of course all kids yell at each other once in a while but because of my son’s…I think I’ll go with “quirks”…his arguments usually get him into more than his share of trouble and they alienate him from his peers.
But his mind…God I just love the way this child thinks. It’s like he thinks in pictures. After one mildly traumatic play date with a boy named Jason who was in a particularly foul temper my son said to me, “Jason has a lot of aggression and he throws it at his friends. That used to be scary because his aggression was as hard and strong as the ground but now…now it’s like a steel blade.”
This from a six year old!
Or on a lighter note there’s his imaginary friend; a lemur named Jelly. “She’s really crazy mom,” he said when describing her to me. “That’s why I call her Jelly.”
I thought about that for a second. “I don’t think I see the connection between her name and her insanity.”
“Well think of Jelly’s consistency,” he said. “It’s unstable.”
And yet writing a sentence is painfully difficult for him. Furthermore he doesn’t fit in at school and he is always a problem for his teachers. While he is making academic progress due to his work at home I have yet to find a classroom that can handle him. I don’t want to hold him back because he really is too bright for that. Right now I have him in a program where he only goes to class a few times a week and homeschools the rest of the time. I could homeschool him fulltime but I firmly believe that he needs to learn how to socialize with his peers. After all, a high IQ does not necessarily equate to success in life. More often than not the key to success is a person’s ability to deal with other people and when I say other people I’m not just talking about an individual’s mother.
Of course lots of folks have advice. I’ve been given the name of a school that would be perfect for him (unfortunately it’s in Denver, Colorado) I’ve been given the name of a woman who specializes in working with kids like mine (unfortunately she’s in Los Angeles) and I’ve been given a name of an educational facility that might really be able to help him (unfortunately it has a tuition of $23,000 a year…so much for groceries).
Part of me knows that I will find a way to make it all work. I’ve purchased my tickets to LA and will spend a big chunk of change talking to this highly recommended specialist. I will continue to brainstorm with his teachers and research schools that might be better for him.
Most importantly I will continue to love him. That’s the easy part because when I’m not busy mountain climbing I’m standing still and looking at what it is that’s before me.
And what’s before me is the most beautiful and amazing little boy I have ever had the privilege of knowing.
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
Friday, December 09, 2005
Why You Shouldn't Take Issue With "Happy Holidays"
Years ago I used to work as a department manager for a Nordstrom that was located in a very wealthy little town outside of San Francisco. While I was working there my store manager decided to throw a “holiday party” for our customers. I put this in quotes because usually when a retailer says they’re throwing a holiday party for customers what they really mean is that they’re going to serve hot cider while customers charge up their credit cards during extended store hours. However the Nordstrom manager wanted to make sure that her party was inclusive of all the different ethnic communities that existed within the community (which happened to be over 87% white and 92% Christian). In the interest of achieving this goal she enlisted me to play the role of diversity consultant since I was the only Black manager in the store and, as far as she knew, the only Jewish one.
As soon as I walked into her office she hit me with her first all important question: “Other than Christmas, what holidays are in December?”
“Well,” I hedged, “There’s Chanukah and Kwanza.”
My manager nodded thoughtfully, indicating that she had heard these words uttered before but didn’t really know what they meant. “How are those celebrated?” she asked.
I’ve been celebrating Chanukah all my life so I pretty much know how it goes but I’m completely ignorant when it comes to Kwanza (well not so much anymore, Blues Clues had a special about it two years ago). Anyway I told her that there were candles involved and promised to get some more details together before the big event.
I started to close my notebook with the assumption that our meeting was complete when she snapped her fingers and said, “I know who we’re forgetting! The Swedes! The Swedes have holidays throughout December. Look into it please because we have a very large Swedish population in this city and we don’t want them to feel excluded or discriminated against.”
Let me take a moment to assure my readers that I’m not making this up.
Of course Swedes are not a persecuted minority. I’m fairly sure that in the history of law enforcement no police officer has ever heard the words, “You’re just pulling me over because I’m Swedish!” But I decided that it would be politically inopportune to point this out so instead I nodded and made a note in my day-planner that said “Plan holiday party that is inclusive of Jews, militant Blacks and Swedes” and then quickly ducked out of the office before my boss started fretting over the large number of Dutch living in the vicinity.
Of course my boss’s request was a little on the crazy side but I understood the fear that was feeding her insanity. She had heard too many reports of people complaining about Christmas trees being displayed in public areas and she wanted to make sure that the PC police stayed off her back.
Now the pendulum seems to be swinging in the other direction, and radically so.
I suppose it’s not all that surprising. For years people on the far left have been insisting that city governments shouldn’t be draping holly over their lamp posts and they put a lot of people who celebrate Christmas on the defensive. But instead of fighting back with logic and calls for moderation the far right is now railing against the use of the term “Happy Holidays.” According to a large number of people (many of whom work for Fox news) the fact that Kmart, Target and Walmart are opting to use the term “Happy Holidays” is an insult to those who celebrate Christmas.
Seeing that I’m a Jew and all it’s probably inappropriate for me to tell Christians what Christmas is supposed to be about but I’m going to do it anyway. It’s supposed to be about the birth of your Lord and all that he stood for with a special emphasis on peace and love of one’s fellow man. It’s only been within the last 100 years that it’s become about shopping and commercialism. You see the “war on Christmas” has already been fought and Macy’s won. In fact the day after Thanksgiving a brawl broke out at Walmart over the last of a small order of laptops that was on sale for $22 dollars off the list price. One Walmart employee reported that she heard a mother screaming at her ten year old (who had not managed to score one of the laptops), “I told you you were going to have to be aggressive in order to get one of those things!”
Are Christians really supposed to take issue with the fact that the banner these people were fighting under didn’t say Merry Christmas?
Here’s my suggestion: If you get upset every time you see a Santa Claus in a store window you need to relax. If you don’t celebrate Christmas and you want your holiday to be given more attention I guarantee you that Corporate America will support you in your quest. For example, Sur La Table is selling little plastic bags of 12 individual blue and white Jelly Bellies for $4.95. Of course you can get around two dozen jelly bellies for 50 cents from most candy dispensers but Sur La Table’s jelly bellies are special: they have the words “Happy Hanukah” stamped across package. Now that’s progress! Perhaps in a few years Jews will be getting into punching matches over Blue Light Specials too! I’ll admit that Kwanza doesn’t get a lot of attention but that can be easily fixed. Someone just needs to call Safeway and alert them to the problem. I’m sure they’ll be happy to put up a display of the traditional foods for Kwanza in the front of the store along with a reminder that you could buy each item for a very reasonable price with your Safeway club card. If, for whatever reason, you don’t celebrate holidays during December I’ll admit there’s not a lot to be done for you. You’re just going to have to resign yourself to being richer than the rest of us come January.
If, on the other hand, you’re one of those people who gets upset when people say, “Happy Holidays” allow me to remind you (again)of the point of saying Merry Christmas to begin with. It’s to include others in the joy you feel this season. If saying Merry Christmas makes the person you’re addressing feel excluded then you’ve kind of defeated the whole purpose. Why not share the joy in a way that shows them you respect their cultural and/or religious practices. When in doubt of what those practices are “Happy Holidays” should be a safe choice (unless you’re addressing Bill O’Reilly in which case I’d go with “Merry Christmas and God Bless America”). Going to Kmart, Target, Walmart or any other retailer to complain that yours is the only religious holiday that they should be exploiting for the sake of profits is just plain nuts.
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
As soon as I walked into her office she hit me with her first all important question: “Other than Christmas, what holidays are in December?”
“Well,” I hedged, “There’s Chanukah and Kwanza.”
My manager nodded thoughtfully, indicating that she had heard these words uttered before but didn’t really know what they meant. “How are those celebrated?” she asked.
I’ve been celebrating Chanukah all my life so I pretty much know how it goes but I’m completely ignorant when it comes to Kwanza (well not so much anymore, Blues Clues had a special about it two years ago). Anyway I told her that there were candles involved and promised to get some more details together before the big event.
I started to close my notebook with the assumption that our meeting was complete when she snapped her fingers and said, “I know who we’re forgetting! The Swedes! The Swedes have holidays throughout December. Look into it please because we have a very large Swedish population in this city and we don’t want them to feel excluded or discriminated against.”
Let me take a moment to assure my readers that I’m not making this up.
Of course Swedes are not a persecuted minority. I’m fairly sure that in the history of law enforcement no police officer has ever heard the words, “You’re just pulling me over because I’m Swedish!” But I decided that it would be politically inopportune to point this out so instead I nodded and made a note in my day-planner that said “Plan holiday party that is inclusive of Jews, militant Blacks and Swedes” and then quickly ducked out of the office before my boss started fretting over the large number of Dutch living in the vicinity.
Of course my boss’s request was a little on the crazy side but I understood the fear that was feeding her insanity. She had heard too many reports of people complaining about Christmas trees being displayed in public areas and she wanted to make sure that the PC police stayed off her back.
Now the pendulum seems to be swinging in the other direction, and radically so.
I suppose it’s not all that surprising. For years people on the far left have been insisting that city governments shouldn’t be draping holly over their lamp posts and they put a lot of people who celebrate Christmas on the defensive. But instead of fighting back with logic and calls for moderation the far right is now railing against the use of the term “Happy Holidays.” According to a large number of people (many of whom work for Fox news) the fact that Kmart, Target and Walmart are opting to use the term “Happy Holidays” is an insult to those who celebrate Christmas.
Seeing that I’m a Jew and all it’s probably inappropriate for me to tell Christians what Christmas is supposed to be about but I’m going to do it anyway. It’s supposed to be about the birth of your Lord and all that he stood for with a special emphasis on peace and love of one’s fellow man. It’s only been within the last 100 years that it’s become about shopping and commercialism. You see the “war on Christmas” has already been fought and Macy’s won. In fact the day after Thanksgiving a brawl broke out at Walmart over the last of a small order of laptops that was on sale for $22 dollars off the list price. One Walmart employee reported that she heard a mother screaming at her ten year old (who had not managed to score one of the laptops), “I told you you were going to have to be aggressive in order to get one of those things!”
Are Christians really supposed to take issue with the fact that the banner these people were fighting under didn’t say Merry Christmas?
Here’s my suggestion: If you get upset every time you see a Santa Claus in a store window you need to relax. If you don’t celebrate Christmas and you want your holiday to be given more attention I guarantee you that Corporate America will support you in your quest. For example, Sur La Table is selling little plastic bags of 12 individual blue and white Jelly Bellies for $4.95. Of course you can get around two dozen jelly bellies for 50 cents from most candy dispensers but Sur La Table’s jelly bellies are special: they have the words “Happy Hanukah” stamped across package. Now that’s progress! Perhaps in a few years Jews will be getting into punching matches over Blue Light Specials too! I’ll admit that Kwanza doesn’t get a lot of attention but that can be easily fixed. Someone just needs to call Safeway and alert them to the problem. I’m sure they’ll be happy to put up a display of the traditional foods for Kwanza in the front of the store along with a reminder that you could buy each item for a very reasonable price with your Safeway club card. If, for whatever reason, you don’t celebrate holidays during December I’ll admit there’s not a lot to be done for you. You’re just going to have to resign yourself to being richer than the rest of us come January.
If, on the other hand, you’re one of those people who gets upset when people say, “Happy Holidays” allow me to remind you (again)of the point of saying Merry Christmas to begin with. It’s to include others in the joy you feel this season. If saying Merry Christmas makes the person you’re addressing feel excluded then you’ve kind of defeated the whole purpose. Why not share the joy in a way that shows them you respect their cultural and/or religious practices. When in doubt of what those practices are “Happy Holidays” should be a safe choice (unless you’re addressing Bill O’Reilly in which case I’d go with “Merry Christmas and God Bless America”). Going to Kmart, Target, Walmart or any other retailer to complain that yours is the only religious holiday that they should be exploiting for the sake of profits is just plain nuts.
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
Monday, December 05, 2005
The Fun of Destruction
Last night I was watching The Incredibles DVD with my son (who, as most of you know, is 6). It was the first time he had ever seen the movie and like everyone else in the world he loved it. However when we got to the scene where Mr. Incredible throws the remote for the huge rampaging robot to his young son my child shook his head and said, “He shouldn’t give the remote control to a young boy even if he does have super powers.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Mom, have you ever seen the way me and other boys drive remote control cars?” he asked in a tone which border-lined on patronizing. “We drive them into walls. That’s what makes remote control toys fun; that they can crash and if you’re really lucky the wheels will pop off or something. All boys like to crash remote control things and that superboy is going to use the remote to make that super-big robot smash it into a super-big building!”
Of course the robot did crash into a building although the superboy supposedly didn’t want that to happen (at least not consciously) but there is little question that the crashing of the robot made millions of little male viewers extremely happy.
So I think the moral of this story is that if you are planning on buying a remote control toy for a little boy this holiday season make sure that:
A) It can easily be repaired or…
B) It is inexpensive thus making its inevitable destruction something less than a tragedy.
Personally I’m thinking twice about buying my son the new roboraptor toy. He can always crash it during our visits to Sharper Image.
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
“Why not?” I asked.
“Mom, have you ever seen the way me and other boys drive remote control cars?” he asked in a tone which border-lined on patronizing. “We drive them into walls. That’s what makes remote control toys fun; that they can crash and if you’re really lucky the wheels will pop off or something. All boys like to crash remote control things and that superboy is going to use the remote to make that super-big robot smash it into a super-big building!”
Of course the robot did crash into a building although the superboy supposedly didn’t want that to happen (at least not consciously) but there is little question that the crashing of the robot made millions of little male viewers extremely happy.
So I think the moral of this story is that if you are planning on buying a remote control toy for a little boy this holiday season make sure that:
A) It can easily be repaired or…
B) It is inexpensive thus making its inevitable destruction something less than a tragedy.
Personally I’m thinking twice about buying my son the new roboraptor toy. He can always crash it during our visits to Sharper Image.
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Help Me Understand This
Those of you who keep up with this blog know that I try to respect other people’s opinions even if they differ from my own and I do my best to keep an open mind when someone challenges one of my political or philosophical beliefs.
However I need to break character for just a moment in order to get answers from a small but growing minority group within this country.
You see I have a two part question I want to ask those of you who have bought or are planning on buying an upside-down Christmas tree. Ready? Here it goes:
What are you smoking and can you score some for me because any drug that makes buying an upside-down tree seem like a good idea has gotta be some really good shit.
I’ve been reading about this new fad in various publications and just the other day they did a feature story about it on San Francisco’s Mornings On Two. On the show the anchorwoman wrapped up the report by saying that anyone who bought one of these trees should be prepared to be the talk of the neighborhood. They then cut to traffic and the traffic reporter (who apparently felt that an unscripted moment was in order) said, “Yes, I can just hear the neighbors now saying, “Hey look! There’s that idiot with the upside-down tree!”
And you know that’s what they’re saying. Hell, it’s what I’m saying.
Now before a whole bunch of you religious studies majors start sending me emails I already know about the people who, in the twelfth century, hung their Christmas trees upside-down from their ceilings in order to form a triangle that was meant to symbolize the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. I also know that claiming that’s the reason for buying an upside-down tree is the equivalent of arguing that hippies burn incense in order to remind themselves of the gifts the three wise men gave to Christ.
I’ve also heard people try to justify the purchase by pointing out that upside-down trees are space savers. I have a four word response to that: Buy a smaller tree.
I can really only think of three believable reasons that a person could give for buying such a tree:
1) They’re insane (I can respect this reason because really, who in this world doesn’t have a few eccentricities).
2) They’re on drugs (see above note).
3) They are so entrenched in their nouveau riche universe that they will happily purchase some messed up tree simply because it’s selling for $599.95 at Hammacher Schlemmer. (If this is you please wake up and smell the eggnog latte. Neiman’s isn’t selling upside down trees and there’s a reason for that).
Of course Americans aren’t the only ones who have lost their minds this holiday season. In the UK black Christmas trees are all the rage. Yes, I said black. Now I understand that a lot of people get very depressed during the holiday season. If you don’t have a family or worse yet, you don’t like the family you do have December can be a tough month. However if you’re bitter feeling surrounding Christmas are so intense that you feel compelled to buy a black tree I want to remind you that there is another (and to my mind, less drastic) option:
Convert.
And the good news is that you don’t even have to give up Jesus to do it! You could become a Jehovah Witness! That way when your mom calls up and asks you to come over Christmas Eve for a slice of rock hard fruit cake accompanied by a healthy serving of parental disappointment you can say “No can do mom. That would be against my religion.” And as a bonus you won’t ever have to worry about being dateless on
Valentine’s Day again because that holiday will be against your religion too! I honestly think that if the Jehovah witnesses who proselytize door to door led with this info they would get a lot more converts; but I digress.
I want to emphasize that I’m not generally a stickler for the rules and I whole heartedly believe in artistic and stylistic expressions of individuality but there are some things that are just wrong. Christmas trees should be green and the trunk should be on the floor not the ceiling. Even a nice Jewish girl like me knows that.
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
However I need to break character for just a moment in order to get answers from a small but growing minority group within this country.
You see I have a two part question I want to ask those of you who have bought or are planning on buying an upside-down Christmas tree. Ready? Here it goes:
What are you smoking and can you score some for me because any drug that makes buying an upside-down tree seem like a good idea has gotta be some really good shit.
I’ve been reading about this new fad in various publications and just the other day they did a feature story about it on San Francisco’s Mornings On Two. On the show the anchorwoman wrapped up the report by saying that anyone who bought one of these trees should be prepared to be the talk of the neighborhood. They then cut to traffic and the traffic reporter (who apparently felt that an unscripted moment was in order) said, “Yes, I can just hear the neighbors now saying, “Hey look! There’s that idiot with the upside-down tree!”
And you know that’s what they’re saying. Hell, it’s what I’m saying.
Now before a whole bunch of you religious studies majors start sending me emails I already know about the people who, in the twelfth century, hung their Christmas trees upside-down from their ceilings in order to form a triangle that was meant to symbolize the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. I also know that claiming that’s the reason for buying an upside-down tree is the equivalent of arguing that hippies burn incense in order to remind themselves of the gifts the three wise men gave to Christ.
I’ve also heard people try to justify the purchase by pointing out that upside-down trees are space savers. I have a four word response to that: Buy a smaller tree.
I can really only think of three believable reasons that a person could give for buying such a tree:
1) They’re insane (I can respect this reason because really, who in this world doesn’t have a few eccentricities).
2) They’re on drugs (see above note).
3) They are so entrenched in their nouveau riche universe that they will happily purchase some messed up tree simply because it’s selling for $599.95 at Hammacher Schlemmer. (If this is you please wake up and smell the eggnog latte. Neiman’s isn’t selling upside down trees and there’s a reason for that).
Of course Americans aren’t the only ones who have lost their minds this holiday season. In the UK black Christmas trees are all the rage. Yes, I said black. Now I understand that a lot of people get very depressed during the holiday season. If you don’t have a family or worse yet, you don’t like the family you do have December can be a tough month. However if you’re bitter feeling surrounding Christmas are so intense that you feel compelled to buy a black tree I want to remind you that there is another (and to my mind, less drastic) option:
Convert.
And the good news is that you don’t even have to give up Jesus to do it! You could become a Jehovah Witness! That way when your mom calls up and asks you to come over Christmas Eve for a slice of rock hard fruit cake accompanied by a healthy serving of parental disappointment you can say “No can do mom. That would be against my religion.” And as a bonus you won’t ever have to worry about being dateless on
Valentine’s Day again because that holiday will be against your religion too! I honestly think that if the Jehovah witnesses who proselytize door to door led with this info they would get a lot more converts; but I digress.
I want to emphasize that I’m not generally a stickler for the rules and I whole heartedly believe in artistic and stylistic expressions of individuality but there are some things that are just wrong. Christmas trees should be green and the trunk should be on the floor not the ceiling. Even a nice Jewish girl like me knows that.
Kyra Davis
http://www.kyradavis.com/
Sex, Murder And A Double Latte IN STORES NOW!!!
For The Love Of A Dog--A fun online read!
Moms Of Mystery--An e-newsletter!
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