I had a really weird dream last night, so weird that I’m reticent to share it with you because I think it may expose me for being the messed up freak that I am. But the thing is this dream was actually kind of funny and I can’t quite get myself to not share it, so here it goes.
First let me warn you in advance, this was an erotic dream…sort of. My last romantic fling ended in December and I’ve been too busy since then to pursue another. I’m okay with putting my love life on hold for a while but four months is four months so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I had an erotic dream…but this dream was not the stuff porn flicks are made of. I’m not even sure it was about sex…it was just…bizarre.
For one thing it starred Steven Colbert, the political satirist on Comedy Central. I was his assistant and we were at my place interviewing a Supreme Court Justice. The interview was funny, informative, thought provoking…all good stuff. Then the Judge realized that the meal he had earlier in the evening wasn’t agreeing with him and he excused himself to use my bathroom (where he remained for the rest of the dream). Steven and I started talking and I became very aware of his impressive intellect (I’m not using that as a metaphor, it really was his intellect that I was focused on). We talked of science, politics, religion and when he started explaining the intricacies of Tort law with the mastery of a $500/hour lawyer I lost control and we started going at it. So now we’re making out and I’m thinking to myself, “Wait! According to Newsweek Steven’s a devout Catholic! What if he's morally opposed to birth control?!”
But I guess I figured I would cross that bridge when I came to it which I never did because I woke up before any clothing was removed.
Once awake, I lay in bed and mentally reviewed the events my unconscious mind had created and all I could think was, “Where the hell was Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas in this dream?” Couldn’t I at least have had a dream featuring San Francisco's illustrious mayor, Gavin Newsom? At least he’s single, rich and powerful. But nooo, not me. I have to dream about getting it on with a Comedy Central political satirist while a Supreme Court Justice is taking a dump in my bathroom.
That just can’t be normal.
Oh well, maybe Brad and Antonio will come to me tonight. In the meantime I just wanted to remind you that on Friday I’ll be speaking in San Francisco at Alexander Book Co. at 12:30. Hope you can make it!
Tune in tomorrow for a guest blog by Alina Adams!
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