Two months after filing for divorce I started dating. Nothing serious, just a fun. In fact, that was my rule. No commitments, no promises, no strings. I was done with marriage and the very idea of trusting, let alone committing, to another guy seemed repulsively stupid. So I dated and flirted and danced with an assortment of people, all of whom I liked, none of whom I loved.
I did come close to getting into another relationship a few years ago. He was a tall, blond haired, blue eyed cop with a bigger than life personality. He was a staunch Republican and was sending his son to a notoriously dogmatic, conservative Christian school. In other words this guy and I had absolutely nothing in common. So we argued and debated and all that fun stuff. He argued against the evidence supporting evolution and global warming while I frantically thrust articles and books under his nose proving that he was wrong and I was right. Then there was his ex wife who HATED me and went out of her way to call her former hubby several times whenever she suspected he was out with me. And then there were his friends who wanted me to “save” him from falling back into the clutches of said ex-wife and so on. It was crazy which is pretty much what I’m used to when it comes to relationships. Of course it didn’t come to anything. While I was the one to walk away he was the one who first realized that our differences were big enough to prevent us from ever getting too serious.
Then, about a year after that I met Noah; a Jewish lawyer and Democrat to boot. He has an ex but she isn’t crazy and she isn’t a part of his life anymore. When it comes to politics and religion we agree on more than we disagree on and when we do disagree we can talk about it calmly without getting into a fight. And here’s the kicker---he isn’t crazy. In fact nothing about our relationship is crazy and that kind of freaked me out for a while. I was used to explosions and drama. I’ve always hooked up with the bad boys and the marginally functioning alcoholics. Not only is Noah not a big drinker but he’s also one of the good guys. He’s romantic without being over the top. He’s incredibly intelligent but doesn’t spend a lot of time trying to prove it to everyone. He manages to maintain emotional stability without the help of medication. This is honestly the first time I’ve ever dated anyone like that and for a while it scared me. I wasn’t used to sanity within a relationship and I kept trying to convince myself that I needed the explosions and the drama. I spent the time between our dates convincing myself that he was wrong for me---I had to do this between dates because while I was with him I had too much fun to take my own arguments seriously.
Then, not so long ago, a man from my not-too-distant-past contacted me; a former military man who loved to party and brag about his exploits. Any one of my friends would peg him as “my type.” I talked to him and I enjoyed our conversation and he was clearly still interested…and then it hit me. I wasn’t interested in him. I was only interested in one guy, my nice, sane, liberal, intelligent Jewish lawyer. I’ve totally fallen for him. I’m in a relationship and I’m not tortured, miserable or in a constant state of anxiety. In fact, and this is a hard one for me to wrap my mind around, I’m actually very, very happy.
I guess miracles do happen.
Side note: a few of you have asked if I would do a live blog during the election. Check my myspace page throughout the day tomorrow for my election updates.
Bestselling Author of:
SEX, MURDER AND A DOUBLE LATTE,
PASSION, BETRAYAL AND KILLER HIGHLIGHTS,
OBSESSION, DECEIT AND REALLY DARK CHOCOLATE
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING