In And Out Of My Element

Location, location, location!

That is the answer to all sorts of marketing questions but I'm beginning to suspect that it may be the key to happiness as well. I had a wonderful time traveling around Portland this last week but I quickly realized that I was visiting a foreign culture. When I got off the plane my friend, Kirsten greeted me with an enthusiastic hug before asking, "I know you've been traveling all day but do you think you're up for an adventure?"

I had plenty of energy so I figured, why not? I tried to imagine what was in store for me. It was already past four so it probably wasn't going to be hiking or anything like that. Perhaps a show, a party, a late night event at a museum, something along those lines.

"My friend has invited us over to teach us how to do glass fusion!" Kirsten explained. "You know, it's when you take colored glass and fuse it together to make pretty little plates or decorative picture frames and that kind of stuff!"

In my mind, this isn't an adventure. This is an opportunity to exploit my biggest weakness. Never in my life, not even as a child, have I been good at arts and crafts. It's a fact that makes me distinctively different than the average Portland-native. I did play along. What is a vacation if not a chance to experience something different? Not that I found some secret love of glass fusion and yes, I do suck at it. But my reward afterward was a lovely dinner with a truly genuine and fun group of people. I liked them all a lot but just as the Sex, And The City world doesn't really belong to me neither does the world of tie-dye, no make-up and do-it-yourself domesticity. Occasionally I'll make a dinner from scratch but I'm much more at home with Trader Joe's fry-and-serve stir-fry and there ready to eat Hummus. And if I need a button replaced on a sweater I take it to my dry cleaner.

Furthermore, while I totally respect those who choose to forgo the influence of the fashion industry I personally am not only influenced by it but frequently fully embrace it. I love dressing up. I like playing with new make-up. And while I have a full appreciation of nature and a love hiking I wouldn't feel comfortable living in a town that didn't have several night clubs and at least one Nordstrom.

And that is why LA has been so easy for me to adapt to. Here I can have my cake AND my cupcakes. I can shop, visit the fun trendy new restaurants and clubs, wear my heels and make-up without ANYONE calling me materialistic or superficial. On the same token I can attend political events, eat health food, buy almost entirely recycled products and take my son to see the stars at the Observatory, watch the coyotes in Griffith Park and so on. I don't have to give anything up.

However, there aren't a lot of people here who know how to make a quilt. And if that was my thing I might feel a bit isolated. No one would come to my glass fusion parties.

And that's why LA isn't for everybody. It's not for the people who not only want to wear home-made tie-dye but would like others to give them a smile and a thumbs up when they do it. Nor is it for those who want to get together with friends to go berry picking before they make a home-made blueberry pie. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do those things and it's important to remember that there is a time and a place for everything. For those people the time is now and the place is called Portland.

I'm so glad that I've found a place that suits me and all my quirks and eccentricities and I'm so glad Kirsten has found a home that allows her to be totally in her element. Most of all I'm glad that those two places are on the same coast so that every so often she can take my son berry picking and when she visits I can take her kids to the American Girl store at The Grove where, for a little over a hundred dollars, you can buy a perfectly stylized doll modeled after a fictional girl who once loved to go berry picking in the country (if you want the dolly-basket that goes with that it's available for another 60 bucks). If they come during the holidays we can see the man-made snow outside and the festively dressed showgirls doing high kicks to a rocked-out version of We Wish You A Merry Christmas.

It's all so very LA.


Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
SEX, MURDER AND A DOUBLE LATTE,
PASSION, BETRAYAL AND KILLER HIGHLIGHTS,
OBSESSION, DECEIT AND REALLY DARK CHOCOLATE
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING

Happy Dancing!

I'm about to go off on a one week vacation to visit some friends in Portland and before I get on the plane I thought I'd leave you with a little something that might make you smile as it does me.

Of course I'm talking about Matt, the guy who dances on the internet.
A lot of you will know who I'm talking about but for those of you who don't, Matt's a 31 year-old guy who quit his job in Australia so he could travel all over the place. Everywhere he goes he gets a video taken of himself doing his own trademark dance. He started posting these videos on his website for his family and then some other people stumbled upon them and started sending their friends links making Matt a sensation. Now Stride Gum sponsors his world wide random dancing tours which goes to show you, you can make a living doing just about anything. I'm not sure why Matt makes me smile but he totally does, so for your entertainment:





I'll try to write from Portland but if that doesn't work out, have a great week!

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
SEX, MURDER AND A DOUBLE LATTE,
PASSION, BETRAYAL AND KILLER HIGHLIGHTS,
OBSESSION, DECEIT AND REALLY DARK CHOCOLATE
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING

And You Thought I Made It Up

Those of you who have read Obsession, Deceit And Really Dark Chocolate have wondered if some of the...um...fetishes described in that novel were made up. Well, this 4th of July weekend there was a huge Furry Convention in Pittsburgh.
For the record the organizers went to great efforts to keep it clean. In the list of rules and regulations distributed to attendees were the helpful, but presumably unnecessary, reminders that no means no and that all privates had to be covered, and not just by latex.
So if truth isn't stranger than fiction it is at least as strange as my fiction.



Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
SEX, MURDER AND A DOUBLE LATTE,
PASSION, BETRAYAL AND KILLER HIGHLIGHTS,
OBSESSION, DECEIT AND REALLY DARK CHOCOLATE
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING

Happy 4th of July Everyone!

So it's that time again.  Picnics and Fireworks.  And of course there is the greater symbolism of the day.  I'm not going to touch the patriotism issue.  I'll leave that to the presidential candidates.  But the holiday does have another lesson to teach: fight for what you want.

I know, I know, our forefathers were fighting for the universal good, not for personal gain but I'm enough of a capitalist to believe that the two things are not mutually exclusive.  

I know too many people who wait for things to fall into their lap.  "If it's meant to be it will happen," they say.  They further reason that if it doesn't happen there's a reason for it; fate has something better in store for them.

I know this puts me out of sync with many of my friends but I don't believe in fate.  I believe that we live in a world of action and consequences.  Not all the actions are of our own making.  Maybe there's a hurricane that blows down your house.  You have no control of the hurricane although you did decide to buy a house near the water.  Also, you may be the most environmentally sensitive person in the world but other people, governments and companies have all partaken in various actions that will still make your environment a little worse and your energy prices a lot higher.  But while we can't control every action, nor can we avoid the consequences of other people's mistakes we can decide how we are going to react to it all.  We can decide to donate to environmental causes or try to educate others on how to be more energy efficient.  If our job is eliminated in a massive company restructuring we can chose to either hide under the covers or go out there and find a new course.  Or if you're like me you can hide under the covers for a couple of days and then rally for the job hunt.  That always makes the whole process a little more dramatic.  

The point is that when you do get handle on what it is you want for both yourself and for society you fight for it.  You don't sit around and wait.  That's the philosophy that brought this country into being.

The second part of that lesson is that you have to recognize when what you want isn't what you're going to get and then you have to change course.  The pilgrims didn't come to the Americas with the hope of freeing themselves of British rule.  And all the other people who came here looking for religious freedom only left their ancestral home after they realized that their dream of societal tolerance within their own country wasn't going to happen any time soon.  They had to find a new dream.  And then they had to pursue it.

These lessons are resonating with me a lot this year as I find that my own dreams are changing.  For years I have enjoyed the freedom of being unattached.  Now I'm in a relationship and I realize that not only am I happy with it but I want it to grow into something even bigger.  I want a home in a neighborhood that has other families and kids in it.  I want a partner, someone to share my successes and frustrations with and visa versa.  I may even want another child and that in and of itself is an enormous shift for me.  The very idea that I could want something so different used to scare me but now I'm finally becoming comfortable with it.  I'm not in a huge hurry.  Rushing is never a good idea when you're making huge life changing decisions and financial investments.  I also am cognizant of the challenges I'm going to have to face.  If I want to have a house and the ability to provide for both my child and possibly another I'm not only going to have to find a way to improve my book sales in a time when even Borders is struggling but also find a way to save during an era when gas prices are at an all time high and stock market is a big mess.  As for the relationship/partner part...well, that's ALWAYS a lot of work no matter who you hook up with.  But like those revolutionary soldiers who finally decided that they were no longer satisfied with being the bastard children of England, I will fight for the changes I want to see in my life and in the life of my son.   By the way, I realize how cheesy and melodramatic that last sentence sounds so please feel free to giggle (as I am right now).

But silly or not, tonight I will look up at the fireworks and I will see them as a celebration of my own determination and drive as well as that of those individuals who fought to give us a country in which striving for betterment isn't so much a possibility as it is a mandate.  And while I know that I can't control all the metaphorical hurricanes that may wreck havoc on my life I can take comfort in knowing that I have the strength and wisdom necessary to deal with those consequences efficiently.  And if I don't win my fight I'll find another path and I'll fight for a revised dream, something different but no less rewarding.

The founders of this country would expect nothing less.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
SEX, MURDER AND A DOUBLE LATTE,
PASSION, BETRAYAL AND KILLER HIGHLIGHTS,
OBSESSION, DECEIT AND REALLY DARK CHOCOLATE
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING