As I mentioned in my last blog, last week was a difficult one for me. I found myself questioning myself and many of the decisions I’ve made over the last several years. My self-confidence took a nosedive. My friends tried to boost my spirits with compliments and by pointing out my accomplishments but it wasn’t really working. I didn’t believe the compliments anymore and as for my accomplishments, like having published several books…well, that didn’t seem like such a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I wasn’t able to use those achievements as a source of comfort or assurance. And then last night while suffering from yet another night of insomnia I started going through my reader emails. I get emails from readers all the time and I love each and every one of your notes but some of you have left a particularly strong impression on me. I’ve edited out names along with anything that would allow you to recognize someone’s identity but the following are a sampling of some of the notes & emails to which I’m referring:
(Of your books) I have only read So Much For My Happy Ending. In August I left my husband who assaulted me while I was just barely pregnant (I am no longer pregnant). I went away to stay with family for a while and when I came back a very good friend of mine told me to read this book. It was SO hard for me to read because I went through EVERY single one of those things...my ex did try to commit suicide and threatened it all the time. He went and bought me a $50K car without asking...I went through all of it. Anyways....I got through the book and cried at the last page. That very last page is hanging on my mirror so I remember how I felt when I read it and what it meant to me to start my life over....I have bought all your other books but have started back to school and so have been busy with that but they sit on my night stand and I hope to take them with me to Thailand this summer and read them while I am in the process of fulfilling a life long dream of teaching in another country...I do not know how you were able to write that with the detail you did but if anyone ever wants to understand what their friend is going through who is being abused, it is a good book to read. That book was life changing for me and I am so grateful to you for writing it.
And here’s another:
My Aunt was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my partner’s brother who is HIV+, was diagnosed with colon cancer. After getting this news my life was going downhill, that's when one day I found your book Sex, Murder, and a Double Latte, I bought it instantly, (myself being a Starbucks Barista). As soon as I read page one this book lifted my spirits, and parted the clouds that had been closing in. I owe you so much, I feel Thank You falls a little short. But I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that I am so grateful to have discovered you.
A friend bought me Sex Murder and a Double Latte when my daughter was born severely premature and had to remain in the hospital. It was her way of helping me take my mind off things - and that it did. I was so caught up in the novel I think I finished it in about 2 days. I even read it out loud to my daughter as she slept in her incubator. Anyways I just wanted to say thank you for writing such addictive novels. God bless you.
When I read Passion, Betrayal And Killer Highlights I was very upset because I had to basically break my best friend's heart. I was so miserable that if I stopped for a moment to think about myself and my pain I probably would have cried a flood. It seems extreme to say so, but the thing that got me through the first hours of that was reading your book. As long as my head was buried in the book, everything was okay. It was an honestly engrossing book and I needed that to get through my own troubled time. I just wanted you to know your book helped when I was definitely at a low point.
There are so many other emails I could print. There’s the woman who found laughter through Sophie despite the intense fear she felt for her husband who is serving in Afghanistan, another woman who found a way to forgive herself for leaving her mentally ill but physically abusive husband after reading So Much For My Happy Ending... but if I printed them all I’d have a 10-page blog post. The point is that when I re-read these messages my perspective on things changed. If I accomplish nothing else the fact that I was able touch so many of your lives in such a meaningful way DOES matter in the grand scheme of things. Because of you I can consider myself to be truly successful, not just as an author but also as a human being. So for those of you who shared these stories with me and stories like these, thank you. Please know that you have helped me every bit as much as I have helped you.
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
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