The Naked Truth About Cosmopolitan Magazine

Recently a male friend of mine joked that he had never read Cosmo because he was, after all, a guy and a straight guy at that.

This made me realize that there are a lot of men out there who have absolutely no idea what Cosmo is about. Before I continue with this I want to warn you now that this whole blog is going to be about the contents of Cosmo and while I promise not to be any more explicit here than Cosmo is in the pages of their magazine that's kinda like promising that I'm not going to write about anything more sexual than what you might see in your run-of-the-mill porno. So if you choose to continue to read this...well, you've been warned.

First of all, while my friend implied that being a straight man made him an unlikely Cosmo reader the truth is that Cosmo is so specifically and explicitly about heterosexual relations it's hard to imagine that a gay guy would get a lot out of it but it's incredibly easy to see why a straight guy might find it interesting. You know that song by Prince (and later covered by the Foo Fighters) titled Darling Nikki? Remember how the lyrics say: "Met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine?" That magazine was probably a Cosmopolitan. For instance, in the most recent issue the cover story is "How To Touch A Naked Man." However that's Cosmo's way of being subtle so as not to offend those who might not actually want to know the details of that story. Those who are motivated to actually open the magazine up will see that inside the covers Cosmo has altered the title of the main article to read: The Sexiest Spots To Touch Him (Down There). According to Cosmo's top notch journalists and sex experts the male genitalia has not one, not two but, count 'em FIVE distinct erogenous zones that they label the T-Spot, the B-Spot, the F-Spot, the R-Spot and lastly, the P-Spot. Cosmo wants their readers to know how to deal with every single one of them. For instance the T-Spot is the tip of the penis and one of the many things Cosmo suggests you do with it is:

...climb on top, and don't take him all the way inside you at first. Instead, slide up and down only on the head of his penis. Next, move totally off him, them take in just the first inch or 2 of him again. The start-stop combo with a focus on his most nerve-filled spot will get him even harder--exactly how you want him right before you're ready to go for the gold.

You gotta love the timely Olympic reference there. On the other hand the P-Spot is the patch of skin between his testicles and anus. For this Cosmo suggests:

During oral, stop lavishing his shaft with your tongue, and bring your lips to this pleasure patch. Purse them together like you're going in for a kiss, but instead of a smooch lightly suck on the skin.

Cosmo goes on to explain that while ice is too cold for a penis, a cool mango is just about perfect and if you take a small bit of mango, chew it up (don't swallow...no pun intended) and then go down on your man it will give him a "feel-good tingle."

In fact their directions are so detailed and precise I would think that most readers would feel the need to bring a cheat sheet into the bedroom. Or you could just kick it Sarah Palin style and write some helpful reminders on your hand: 1) no swallowing mango 2) on off 2" 3) go 4 gold!!

And you should see what Cosmo suggests you do with a fine-tooth comb! (Hint: you will want to wash it before you use it on your hair again).

As far as Cosmo is concerned everything comes back to sex. Why (according to Cosmo) should women fight obesity? Because physically fit women have stronger orgasms. Perhaps weight loss programs would get even more participants if they used that point as a marketing tool: "Wanna get more out of your vibrator? Try Weight Watchers!"

The funny thing is that I'm referencing/quoting from Cosmo's December and March issues. Neither of those are their sex issue which is put out in August (or to use their words, August is when they publish their "Hot Issue.")

Years ago a group called Morality In Media took Cosmo to task for their "obscene" content. They used the two page scene excerpted from a book in Cosmo's Red-Hot-Reads section to prove their point. That scene happened to be from my second book, Passion, Betrayal And Killer Highlights. Now when you consider what else is in the pages of Cosmo the very fact that MY sex scene would be seen as something that epitomized all that...well, to be honest I was really quite honored.

Anyway, if you're a guy and you've been glancing at Cosmo and dismissing it as just another woman's fashion magazine you are COMPLETELY missing the point. Perhaps you already know about all your assorted zones but if a woman your with ever pulls out a fine tooth comb and a mango and invites you into the bedroom at least you'll know what's going on.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
Pre-order Vows, Vendettas & A Little Black Dress today!

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

On Thursday my dermatologist found two moles on my back that he said needed to be removed and biopsied. He also asked that I get some blood testing done to check for anemia and a few other things. On Friday afternoon I sat in a hospital lab waiting room and my mind began to go to a not-so-happy place. I feel fairly confident that the moles aren't melanoma and I seriously doubt that my blood tests will show that I have anything more serious than anemia but there of course is that tiny little chance that I'm wrong. And even if I'm right the whole thing was serving as a reminder of how vulnerable we all are in regards to our health. A little voice in my head kept asking me, "What if you did get really sick? Who would take care of you? Who would hold your hand through the whole thing? Who would help you with your son?"

The little voice was more than annoying. It was making me depressed and worse yet it was making me a little scared. It was just after two in the afternoon and I knew most of my friends were at work so I sent a light-hearted text to a friend in NY hoping that if I could engage him in some humorous banter I would be able to distract myself and feel, at least at that moment, a little less alone. Unfortunately he was also busy (most likely still at work) so in the end I made friends with the woman filling out my paperwork and I joked around with the lab tech who was taking my blood...but that was totally a surface thing. I didn't know these people and my assumed joviality was only mildly distracting. The spark of fear that I was masking was most definitely still there.

So I left the lab feeling incredibly down. I put on a happy face for my son when I picked him up from speech therapy but I wasn't feeling it. And then on my way to Costco my friend Brenda called from the Bay Area. She told me about how much my last email to her had made her laugh during what had apparently been a challenging few weeks for her. We talked about her work and various other things and although I never mentioned the moles or any of the rest of it I felt MUCH better because I was reminded that if I was ever truly in need Brenda would absolutely be there for me regardless of how far away she lived. I've known her since we were kids and I have ALWAYS been able to count on her. About a half hour after I hung up the phone my friend Robin called and invited me out for dinner and margaritas. The timing of the invitation couldn't have been much better. Robin's a breast cancer survivor and I did tell her about my concerns. She nodded her understanding and then smiled. "Well," she said, "you live pretty close to the hospital. You could walk to chemo!" That was enough to make me giggle and again I felt myself relaxing because I knew that Robin had my back...which reminded me that my friend Kim did as well as does my friend Mika who lives about ten minutes away from me and several others who live throughout the state and even in other countries.

I'm not in a committed romantic relationship. Currently there is no guy who I can lean on in the unlikely event that my health were to take a dramatic turn for the worse. But I have such a strong network of friends it doesn't really matter so much. The little voice that was bothering me while I sat in that waiting room wasn't really worried about my health anyway. It was worried about being alone. And that's one concern I can put to rest. I'm not alone at all. I don't think I ever have been.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
Pre-order Vows, Vendettas & A Little Black Dress today!

Go Ahead, Dump Some Olive Oil On Your Head

Every once in a while I stumble across a bizarre beauty tip that actually works and this week has been one of those times. My hair has been crazy dry and fragile lately (stress is VERY bad for hair). I'm going to get it cut short next week but in the interim I've been trying to figure out what I can do to improve matters. Someone told me to take some extra-virgin olive oil (at least 3 tablespoons) warm it up in the microwave and then apply it to my hair and scalp. After that you're supposed to wrap your head up in either a cap or a cheap satin scarf (your scarf won't be looking so great after it's been coated with oil so you might want to save the Hermès for another occasion) and sleep with the stuff in your hair.

It seemed like kind of a weird idea and it took me a while to get around to trying it but in a moment of desperation I went to my cupboard, pulled out the olive oil and (after warming it) put it on my head. I don't love sleeping with my hair wrapped up but it didn't kill me and the next day I stepped into the shower, pulled out the shampoo and washed the stuff out...and my hair was more manageable and softer than it has been in weeks. Even after I washed it out it was easier to comb. It wasn't oily but it had a shine that lasted for the next few days. I've been doing some research on the internet and it seems this treatment is supposed to work for all hair-types and some claim it even stimulates hair growth. Seriously, put whatever your hair problem is into a Google search and then add the words "olive oil" and you are bound to find site after site telling you how olive oil can help with all those bad hair days.

So if you're in the mood to dump some oil on your head I strongly recommend that you go for it. Guess extra-virgin olive oil isn't just for cooking anymore.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
Pre-order Vows, Vendettas & A Little Black Dress today!

So Much For My Happy Ending: What Happened To April?

Recently i got an email from a teenage reader about So Much For My Happy Ending. She loved the book and wanted to know what happened to the characters after the last chapter.

The funny thing is that when my previous agent shopped So Much For My Happy Ending she really wanted me to sell it as part of a two book deal that included a sequel but I resisted. I wanted people to decide for themselves what happened to April (my protagonist) and I wanted it to end with April having infinite possibilities.

But now that years have passed I kinda do know what has happened to April. She's doing okay. I know that the most romantic answer would be to say that she ended up with Jeremiah but I don't see that as being in the cards. Jeremiah was there for April when she really needed him. He helped her find herself and her true path...but her path wasn't his. Jeremiah did move to LA and I think he made a living as a musician/singer although I doubt he became an A-lister rock star. Still, he's happy and he's doing what he loves. Anyone who read that book knows that's what he really wanted anyway. April found that her path would lead her over many bumps and hills. There is no such thing as an easy life. But she's making it and she's come into her own. She's working as a curator and although there are times of stress she, like Jeremiah, is happy. She trusts herself and believes in her own strength. She's stayed close with Allie and Caleb and there is romance in her life. Sometimes she thinks of Jeremiah in a nostalgic, wistful kind of way but for the most part she is just grateful for the time they did share and grateful for her current situation.

As for Tad...I don't think he ever really pulled it together although my guess is that he's surviving. He'll probably have to make the same mistakes over and over again before he settles down a bit. With a little luck he'll stay out of jail. Within a few years he'll convince himself of a revisionist history in regards to his marriage to April and I'm sure there will be lots of other women because, let's face it, Tad can be seriously charming when he wants to be.

If you haven't read the book you'll have to trust me when I tell you that I haven't given away as much as it seems (and if you want to take a look at it know that Barnes & Noble shelves this separately from the Sophie books and puts it in the regular fiction section, not the mystery section). I also want to give parents a heads-up about this book. The reader whose questions I'm addressing in this blog is 15. I think there are some lessons in So Much For My Happy Ending that could actually be very helpful for a high-school aged girl (although that wasn't something I was thinking about when I wrote it). That said there is some fairly explicit sex scenes in the book, particularly toward the end. I KNOW my mother wouldn't have had a problem with my reading this novel when I was 15 but my mother went to Berkeley in the 60s so her views on sexuality might be a tad more liberal than yours ; )

Oh, on an entirely different note, I want to thank everyone who signed The Sophie-Katz-Project petition! We got more than 250 signatures is a matter of 4 days! It just goes to show that I really do have some of the most awesome readers in the world (seriously, that's not just hyperbole). You all have done so much to support me and support Sophie...well, I can't even being to put my appreciation into words. If you haven't signed yet (or have no idea what I'm talking about) check the petition out and if you agree with it adding your name certainly couldn't hurt. We've exceeded our goal but to be honest the more signatures we get the better. There seems to be some movement on the Hollywood front. I'm trying REALLY hard not to jinx myself but do cross your fingers for me!

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
Pre-order Vows, Vendettas & A Little Black Dress today!

Will You Help Sophie Make Her Hollywood Debut?

A few days ago I blogged about how there weren't enough films out there with strong female leads and not nearly enough films starring minority actresses. In my blog comments and on my Facebook page we discussed how the same is true of television. At the time I was talking in very general terms. I wanted (and continue to want) Hollywood to start casting women of color as leads in mainstream movies, not movies about what it's like to be a minority but a movie about life (or about action or comedy) where the lead just happens to be a minority and is someone who everybody can relate to. Preferably this character would have a multicultural group of friends. A few of you expressed doubts that we'd see a character like that on our screens anytime soon.

Well yesterday I had a meeting with a Hollywood insider who disagrees. She feels that we could have that character on the screen in the not too distant future. Her exact words were, "The world is ready for Sophie."

In other words she feels that the Sophie books are the vehicle to bridge that gap. Trying to get anything made in Hollywood is always a long-shot but I've been given reason to believe that my dream of making Sophie a star may very well be attainable. However I'm going to need your help. The power players in Hollywood are actually beginning to pay attention to online communities and even online petitions. If they see that there is a demand for something to be made into film they are much more likely to move on the project. Christina Makar who is the founder and president of the Kyra Davis Fans page on Facebook started an online petition requesting that Sophie be given the opportunity to "go Hollywood" as it were. I'm really hoping that all of you will sign it and encourage your Sophie loving friends to do the same. Obviously my motivations aren't entirely unselfish. I would love to see my characters brought to life by some of today's hottest and most talented actors/actresses. But I also really want to see us take that step toward a more multicultural sensibility in Hollywood. If there's a chance I can help make that happen then I certainly am going to try.

So what do you say? Will you work with me to make Hollywood a little more colorful?


Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
Pre-order Vows, Vendettas & A Little Black Dress today!

The Colors Of Hollywood

I can't tell you how happy I am that Dear John beat Avatar at the box office this weekend. I have a special place in my heart for Avatar because I know one of the main costume designers who worked on the film. I also know absolutely nothing about Dear John. What I do know is that if Hollywood put out another "chick-flick" that bombed at the box office like Leap Year or Have You Heard About The Morgans the studio heads would have made a broad pronouncement: Chick-flicks are dead, bring on the big-budget action flicks. The fact that both Have You Heard About The Morgans and Leap Year were decimated by the critics (not for being chick-flicks but for being poorly made movies) won't matter at all. It won't even be considered a real factor. In their heart of hearts a lot of the decision makers in Hollywood believe that the teenage boy demographic is where it's at and that the blockbuster movies made by/with Sandra Bullock and Meryl Streep are the exception, not the rule. It takes a success like Dear John to convince them otherwise and their change of heart will only last as long as the success of the most recent female driven movie. When you have two or three box office failures in a row that feature female leads the powers that be will be looking to see what Robert Downey Jr. and Matt Damon are up to.

While this is a problem for all actresses it's a BIG problem for minority actresses. Sure, Will Smith, Samuel L. Jackson and Morgan Freeman are all considered reasonably safe bets for staring roles but Hollywood isn't sharing the love with their actresses of color. Beyonce occasionally gets to star in a movie but unlike Will Smith the movies she's cast in usually have issues of race as some part of the central theme. She doesn't just get to be an action star or a female lead who happens to be black. Halle Berry was getting those roles for a while but for various reasons she is no longer considered a major box office pull. And really, when's the last time you saw an Asian actress play the starring lead role in ANY big budget production? Latinas aren't fairing much better. It doesn't help that Disney's latest animated film, The Princess And The Frog failed to impress at the box office. It will and has made money for Disney due to merchandising opportunities (and really, isn't that what all Disney films are about?) but I know that the decision makers in Hollywood are looking at the numbers and concluding that white audiences won't see movies starring black female characters. Never mind that this was the 1st non-3D animated movie that Disney has put out in five years or that children under ten may now simply expect their movies to come with cool plastic glasses. That's not the lens Hollywood will see this through.

I read a book that excused the lack of women in lead roles (in front of and behind the camera) as simply a matter of economics. According to the author it has nothing to do with prejudices, racism or sexism at all. He "proves" his point by explaining that Hollywood is very liberal. Hollywood players vote Democratic and they support causes that fund breast caner research. So in other words, it is his belief that Democrats who don't like cancer are incapable of prejudice. I personally think that reasoning is somewhat flawed. But I also think that prejudice is almost ALWAYS rooted in economics. Slavery was about economics. Hitler's call to eliminate the Jews and confiscate their property and wealth took hold because of the economic conditions in Germany at that time. Xenophobia is based in economics. Initial resistance to allowing women in the workplace? Economics. That's why whenever anyone argues that "It's not about prejudice, it's about economics," I cringe.

I understand Hollywood's wariness when it comes to making movies staring women or (gasp) minority women and I understand the economics of the situation. But I hope that they push themselves and the movie-going-public's perception of what a headliner star can look like. Will Smith and Bruce Lee have proven that minority men can be, from an economic standpoint, big time money makers. With the right movies and gutsy enough studio heads the same could be true for many women of all colors.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
Order LUST, LOATHING AND A LITTLE LIP GLOSS on Amazon or Barnesandnoble.com today!

The Tough Questions

Hollywood and the like are always making a big deal about the birds-and-the-bees talk you're supposed to have with your kids. Supposedly it's a big, scary and intimidating subject, but is it? You feed your children little bits of information throughout their childhood years, you answer their questions, keep the lines of communication open and when puberty comes along you fill in whatever blanks you have left. Again, I don't see why it's such a challenge. It seems to me that there are other life lessons that are MUCH more difficult to tell your child about. My son was four-years old when he first asked me (seemingly out of the blue) what a slave ship was. THAT was a hard conversation to have. Man's inhumanity to man will always be more difficult to explain than how babies get born or how to keep yourself both baby & STD free. Yesterday my son was flipping through the channels, paused for about thirty seconds on MSNBC and then asked me what a pedophile was. Again, not something I really relished explaining.

Sometimes the questions aren't quite so dark in nature but still prove to be a stumbling block. While looking for a current-events news article for his history class he asked me what a deficit was. When I told him he asked who it was that the US was borrowing money from. Reluctantly I confessed that lately we've been borrowing the lion's share from China. He looked at me like I was insane. "We borrow it from China?" he repeated. "The place where we get all the lead-tainted toys from? The country that doesn't allow its people free speech? How can that be a good idea?"

I actually don't have an answer to that one at all let alone an answer that a ten-year-old could understand.

As the years go on I know there are going to be more questions. On a whole I prepared for the ones that are about sexuality and drugs. But there are some questions that no amount of preparation are going to make less challenging. "How could anyone do something like that?" "How can we as a nation justify that?" "Why didn't anyone help him/her?" Those are the words I know I'll hear with increased frequency as my boy becomes more in tune with the world that exists outside our carefully maintained bubble. Those are the big, scary subjects. We'll tackle them as we always have but they make the why-do-I-feel-funny-when-I-see-girls-in-bikinis questions seem pretty easy.

Kyra Davis
Bestselling Author of:
The Sophie Katz Murder Mystery Series,
and
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING
Order LUST, LOATHING AND A LITTLE LIP GLOSS on Amazon or Barnesandnoble.com today!