Author Kyra Davis official website: November 2010

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A Lot Has Happened Between This Thanksgiving And Last

The thing about holidays like Thanksgiving is that they remind you of what you were doing and thinking at the same time last year. For me it crystalizes exactly how crazy the twelve months between last Thanksgiving and now have been. There were friends that I had at that time who were a major part of my life who I now barely ever have any communication with at all. On the flip side there are people who I barely knew or didn't know at all who I've become very close to and some of them have literally changed my life. And there are of course the friendships that I've cherished for years and have continued to grow stronger with time. Last Thanksgiving I thought my career was trucking along at a slow but steady pace. A few months after last Thanksgiving my career screeched to a halt. A few months after that it seemed to be set in reverse. And now my career is not only moving in the right direction but it's possibly poised to get on the Autobahn.

Between last Thanksgiving and now I lost my faith in love, then I began to get it back, and then I found that I simply didn't care that much one way or another. I know how that sounds but I can honestly say that my romantic life just doesn't feel like a big priority to me right now. I'm so fulfilled by my friendships, my strong connections to family and my work that the men who are vying for my attention are having a very hard time getting it. I just don't really feel the need to fit that into my schedule at the moment. That said, I do now believe that all my previous failed romances were incredibly valuable experiences. I have strong friendships with those men who I wasn't able to make things work with but nonetheless never betrayed my trust. When I think of the time I spent with those guys and when I enjoy the conversations I have with them now I'm reminded that not all men are idiots (only a small majority of you). For those failed relationships where there were hard feelings, well those hard feelings are gone (at least on my side) and I am a stronger and better person for the challenges that they (for the most part, unintentionally) put me through. In an odd way, I owe that latter group as much as I owe the former and I'm incredibly grateful for all of them.

Last Thanksgiving I thought that I would never find a middle school that would work for my gifted and special-needs child and had resigned myself to homeschooling. A few months later I found the perfect school. A few weeks after finding it I realized that I couldn't afford this perfect school and a few months after that my family stepped up to the plate and found a way to help me make it work.

Really, it's all enough to make a girl dizzy. But because of the chaos of the last twelve months I now realize exactly how much I have to be grateful for. Roller coaster rides do that to you. They make you thankful for the highs and the lows and most importantly, for your ability to get back to solid ground.

I hope that all of you have as much to be grateful for. I hope that if you're in one of those roller coaster lows you are able to remember that these rides never last forever. Eventually you'll have the opportunity to get off and then you'll be rightfully proud of your ability to survive the experience.

In the meantime try to enjoy the holiday-imposed family time and drown your sorrows in turkey gravy.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

USA is #1! Or Is That Sweden?

My son (now 11) has never accepted the idea that America is #1. He simply doesn't buy it. To be honest I think the statement is overly broad too. I think America is #1 for me and mine. For instance, I like knowing that if I'm out with friends at 2 in the morning I can still stop by one of our many 24 hour drugstores or grocery stores and buy toothpaste, eggs or even lipstick if I'm in the mood. I'm very American that way. But I would never presume that every person in the world would be happier in America than they are in their home country.

Still I felt the need to challenge my son's skepticism. "All right," I said, "if America isn't #1, who is?"

My son thought about this for a few minutes before bursting out with, "Sweden!"

"Sweden," I repeated. "You think Sweden is the #1 country in the world?"

"Well," he said cautiously, "maybe not historically. I don't know much about Swedish history. But I bet they're better than us in terms of their economic and environmental policies!"

"When have you ever heard or read anything reported about Sweden's economy or environmental polices?" I asked.

"I haven't but that's the point!" he said defiantly. "You told me that the news media doesn't give very much airtime or print space for reporting good news and they like to spend lots and lots of time reporting all the bad news. They almost never even bother to report on Sweden at all so it must be a pretty awesome place where lots of good things happen and bad things almost never do!"

"Ah," I said, thinking I had found the flaw in his logic. "The thing about America is that we can be kind of egocentric. If something is happening in another country, good or bad, and it doesn't effect us economically or militarily you probably won't hear about it in the American media."

My son narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "Chi-chi-chi, le-le-le. What do a bunch of Chilean miners have to do with our economy or our military?"

"Umm--"

"You never hear about Swedish miners being trapped in unsafe mines because it probably doesn't happen!" my son continued, not giving me time to regroup. "The only people who ever can find anything to report about Sweden are the people who work for the Travel Channel or guys who work for some family channel like Disney or PBS or something and even then all you see are a bunch of happy, Swedish people being super nice and polite. They say Canadians are nicer than Americans but I bet Canadians are a bunch of jerks compared to the Swedes!"

This gave me a moment's pause. I felt I was losing this argument...to an eleven-year old. I searched my brain for the last time I had read anything in the media about Sweden. It had been in an article about Alexander Skarsgård who plays Eric on True Blood. I have a huge crush on Alexander Skarsgård so that article had indeed made me very happy. I also have a Swedish friend, Janica, who I know from our days in New York during our college years. She's now designing jewelry back in Sweden and she recently sent me a necklace she had made. That had made me happy too. And it's certainly true that nothing that has happened in Sweden has ever made me unhappy. In my entire life I have never said, "Damn it, the Swedes are really messing everything up!" So maybe my son has a point. If nothing else I am clearly incapable of proving him wrong.

So perhaps, when I can, I'll take Janica up on her repeated invitation and make my next international trip to Sweden. If I do go I plan to find out if any Swedish miners have ever been trapped anywhere and if the majority of Swedes are truly nicer than our mild mannered neighbors to the North.

Still, I'm willing to bet that you can't go into a CVS -like store and buy lipstick at 2 in the morning in Sweden. But again, that's just a hunch.

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Friday, November 12, 2010

Happy National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day

Yes really. November 12th really is National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day. It's also Chicken Soup For The Soul Day. Oh and I wouldn't want to forget to wish you a Happy Split Pea Soup Week and a Happy Georgia Pecan Month and a Happy Good Nutrition Month and a Happy Peanut Butter Lovers Month and a Happy National Pepper Month and a Happy Raisin Bread Month and last but not least, a Happy Vegan Month. November 12th is (or falls within) all of that.

It seems every month, week and day of the year is dedicated to the celebration of a certain kind of food or diet regiment. One of the things every President does when he gets to the oval office is sign his name on the approval for a bunch of food holidays (those would be the national holidays like the National Split Pea Soup Week and the National Pepper Month). If that's not enough certain mayors and governors are also in on the act and have signed into law several other food holidays which is why National Deep Fried Clams day ironically falls within Vegan Month.

But make no mistake, these are all official holidays. They may not all be official in your state or town and you aren't going to get a day off or vacation pay in their honor but they're real. It's not like some people on the internet are sitting around making them up.

And our elected public officials have approved some really weird holidays. Tomorrow's National Indian Pudding Day (I'm not even sure I know what that is). The 18th is National Vichyssoise Day. The day after that is National Carbonated Beverage With Caffeine Day (did Coke & Pepsi actually lobby for this?) and I cannot WAIT for March 28th which is Something On A Stick Day (although that's not a National holiday, some mayor or Governor must have approved that one).

The politicians don't invent these holidays. Someone has to petition them. The big question is who. Who took the time to petition the President of the United States to make April 4th National Cordon Bleu Day? And Why? Why would anyone feel that this is a worth while and valuable exercise? Why don't the presidents ever mention these requests in the memoirs they all seem to write once leaving office? How come none of them have started a chapter with, "Ah, I remember the day I made May National Gazpacho Aficionado Month. That was such a poignant moment in my presidency." Or even, "The day I saw the petition asking me to make June 10th National Black Cow Day I remember thinking WTF?"

But these are questions that we are likely never to have the answer to. We will forever ponder them just as we may always ponder what things were like before the birth of our universe.

In the meantime make yourself a cup of chicken soup and another cup of split pea soup, order a pizza with everything (except anchovies) for dinner, serve some nutritious, vegan Raisin Bread made with a dash of pepper and smeared with peanut butter for dessert and snack on some nutritious Georgia pecans. You have a lot of celebratory eating to do.

And in case you want to keep track of these important days click this link. I know how essential it is to stay informed about this stuff.

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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Long Time No Blog

Yes, I know, I've been MIA lately and I promise to have a full blog up here tomorrow but in the interim there are two places where I have new blogs up today.

I have one blog up on the fabulous Killer Fiction and another on my new political blog, Passionately Moderate. Oddly enough both deal with my love-hate relationship with anger. Come on over and check it out!

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Thursday, November 04, 2010

As Of Next Week I Will Be Posting On 3 Blogs

When I started this blog I saw it as a means to connect with my readers. I feel that I've been successful at that. However it's also fair to say that my blog has been sort of all over the place. I've written several posts about the publishing industry, about dating, about parenting, about the Sophie series, about my own personal emotions and so on and so forth. As far as I can tell all of those topics are of interest to many of my readers (although not every single reader will find every single topic I blog about riveting). Where it gets sticky is with the political stuff. I have some very liberal readers and some very conservative ones. And of course there are lots of you who couldn't care less about politics, period. Personally I'm a passionately moderate Democrat. You don't usually think of moderates being passionate but I am. I am passionate about moderation. I'll even go further and say I think moderation is sexy. So there.

But this is not the place to write about my political views or observations. That's not why you're here and God knows it's not why you read the Sophie books. The Sophie books are about escape and on occasion, humorous personal introspection. Oh, and they're about sex too. Can't leave that out.

I'm not saying that my blog will always be light and airy going forward but I don't want to hammer you over the head with the world's problems either.

So, going forward I'll be starting a new blog. Passionately Moderate. That's where I'll talk about politics and social issues that have political implications. I'll be posting here 1--2 times a week and every other Thursday I'll be posting on Killer Fiction, which I strongly encourage you to check out regardless of if it's my posting day or not because the other author-bloggers on that site are quite talented and fun to read.

I'm not sure if I can blog more than 3 times a week and so for Passionately Moderate I'd like to find other moderates to blog there as well, moderates from all different parties. Maybe I can even find a moderate Independent and...oh, I don't know...a moderate Green Party candidate? Do those exist? I suppose it's possible although my sense is that it would be easier to find Big Foot. Whoever I include in this will be either another author or have some experience in journalism. And it may take me a while to find those people (and if you know of someone please let me know via comments or a direct message on Twitter or Facebook). While I'm searching I'll just blog by my lonesome over there. I just really feel that moderates don't have enough of a voice. Our presence and our politics are just largely ignored and with the rhetoric in Washington and on the various campaigns that we've all been recently subjected to, well it's sort of amazing that moderates haven't just completely tuned out. But a lot of us haven't and while I don't expect to get some kind of huge following on that blog I do want to add my voice (and hopefully the voice of others) to what seems to be a shrinking group. A group that doesn't think that compromise on BOTH sides equates to selling out. A group that won't automatically dismiss or praise politicians based on solely on whether there's a D or an R by their name. I have a suspicion that we're the "silent majority." I just think we need to be a little less silent.

It's an experiment and it may not work but I'm going to try it. As for here...well I'll continue to blog about dating, kids, life, publishing and the joy that can be had by simply holding a martini glass.

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Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Voting Is A Group Project--Carry Your Weight

Nothing gets me more irritated than when I hear pollsters talk about "likely voters." I'm not mad at the pollsters themselves but at the unlikely voters.

The US Census Bureau recently reported that low income people, minorities and renters are significantly less likely to vote than their white, wealthy, home-owning counterparts. The vast majority of people under the age of thirty never vote at all.

Why would entire groups of people willingly submit their authority to other groups? Why would they silence themselves? When we fail to cast a ballot it's like we're making ourselves invisible. We're choosing to be subservient rather than leaders. The politicians will always gear their attention to the needs and desires of those who cast ballots. Why do so many people effectively tell the individuals who run this country not give them any consideration? I know that getting to the polls can be hard but it's a right that women, minorities and yes the youth (the voting age in this country used to be 21) have fought and sacrificed for. Women and minorities who were fighting for the right to vote were literally tortured and many were killed. When you choose not to vote you are not only dishonoring the memory of their struggles but you're making the reward our parents, grandparents and ancestors fought for less significant.

But of course voting in and of itself isn't enough. If you ARE going to vote, vote smart. I know this really bothers some of my liberal friends but although I'm a Democrat I don't always vote for the Democratic candidates and this year (as in others) I will be voting "yes" on a couple of propositions that the state Democrats have campaigned against. No one should vote for something or someone just because someone called them up and told them they should. Read the propositions. Take ten minutes to Google the voting record/positions of the candidates on the ballot. There are some very conservative Democrats who have frequently voted with the Republicans who will be voted out of office today by Republican voters simply because the candidates have a D by their names. On the flip side many of those same conservative Democratic politicians were voted into office by Democrats who disagree with the candidates on almost every issue simply because those voters they really liked that D. Voting for or against a candidate because of a letter of the alphabet doesn't make a lot of sense. Nor does it make sense to vote someone out just because they're an incumbent, particularly if they've been championing issues that are important to you. Voting shouldn't be like those multiple-choice tests where you cross your fingers for luck and then randomly pick a circle to fill in because you didn't bother to study. This is more like a group project. If someone in the group doesn't do their homework the whole group fails. And of course in this case the "group" is our entire society.

Regardless of the state, the polls will be open long enough to accommodate the after-work crowd (click here to find out where your polling place is and how long it's open). Use 10-15 minutes of your lunch break to do your voting homework. And then vote.

Vote so you won't be invisible. And vote smart so you don't screw with the rest of us.

For California voters check out the nonpartisan group, Center For Government Studies (CGS), website and check out their "Voter minutes." They're two minute videos that describe each one of the propositions, outline the possible pros and cons of the initiative (but the information will be factual rather than skewed as in all the partisan TV ads) and they'll tell you what groups/businesses are supporting/opposing what.

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